This guest post from Holly of Holly Loo Ya is a part of the “Getting Real About Purity” Series: a series I hope will encourage us to take an honest and scriptural look at sex, temptation and the pursuit of purity. Check back every Tuesday for the next three weeks for new a post in this series.
(Pursue purity, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.)
1. If you set boundaries, you won’t cross them.
Boundaries are important. But they aren’t what keep you from going too far. When you think of purity as a list of rules, you will probably be tempted to break a few.
Your relationship with God and your desire to be obedient are what stop you from crossing the line.
God is such a careful protector that He promises you a way out of every temptation.
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13 NKJV
2. If you don’t struggle with purity when you’re single, you won’t struggle with purity when you get into a relationship.
You may even think your lack of struggle qualifies you to be in a relationship.
When you’re single, your mind may wander occasionally, but it can be relatively easy to control your desires when you don’t have a boyfriend around as a constant reminder.
When you finally get into a relationship, you are presented with a whole new set of temptations. You are madly in love with someone and you want to show them.
You and your boyfriend may even struggle with different things at different times. You now have to be mindful of your weaknesses and his.
And when you sin against your brethren in this way, wounding and damaging their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. – 1 Corinthians 8:12, AMP
3. The guy in the relationship will always lead when it comes to remaining pure.
Truthfully ladies, we hear directly from God and He can reveal certain things to us about His standard for our lives. We often have special experience with fighting for our purity that some men may not have.
We’re kind of like experts on this subject.
But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills. – 1 Corinthians 12:11, NKJV
4. Once you’ve successfully maintained purity, your boundaries won’t change.
Just like the Holy Spirit is constantly changing us to be more like Jesus in our everyday lives, that same Spirit will push us to be even more holy and pure.
Don’t be surprised if you no longer accept something you once thought was harmless.
All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify. – 1 Corinthians 10:23 NKJV
5. This show (or song/movie/book) won’t plant seeds of temptation.
Don’t underestimate the power of things you expose to your heart.
A new desire to give in to your flesh may very well come from you new favorite television series.
All of you must keep awake (give strict attention, be cautious and active) and watch and pray, that you may not come into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. – Matthew 26:41 AMP
6. Out of sight, out of mind.
And when you stop exposing yourself to certain things, the effects of what you seen can still have a lasting impact.
For example, if you once watched pornography, the images may come back to you when you least expect them to show up.
It is vital to renew your mind daily by surrendering your thoughts to Christ.
Bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. – 2 Corinthians 10:15
7. Once you mess up, you blew it.
While the goal is not to intentionally sin, I can guarantee that you will fall short.
When you do just please…get back up.
In our Lord Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation. There is nothing you could have done that can separate you from the love of God. If you watched something, kissed someone, touched someone or even went all the way, God still loves you the same.
His desire is for you to turn away from your sin and choose Him. Even if it’s for the thousandth time.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. – John 3:16-17
Holly Loube is just an ordinary girl who is called to live a life in relentless pursuit of Jesus Christ. At 23 she is finishing up her senior year at the University of Maryland. Her desire is for everyone she meets to feel a sense of belonging and purpose. She likes to refer to her writing as “worship disguised as words.” Holly is a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend and a bride-to-be! She blogs at Holly Loo Ya.
The Comments
Elizabeth
I’ve never been in a relationship, so I understand that I’m no expert, but I can definitely see, just from being a human myself, that these are lies that can become very believable. It’s so easy to just let your guard down in different situations in life. And of course, our pride can cause us to put confidence in our flesh. These are truths that I’m filling my mind with while I’m still single, so that when I do get in a relationship one day(hopefully!) I will remember these things and not believe the lies that Satan is sure to try to get me to believe.
Elizabeth
> ElizabethWonderfully put, Elizabeth! I’ll just add that Satan can attack our desire for purity and abstinence from sexual sin even when we aren’t in a relationship. I know that too well. So yes, these are truths that we should bear in mind in whatever season of life we are in — single, dating or otherwise.
Elizabeth
> ElizabethI didn’t even think of that(for some reason). Yes, Satan is trying to attack our purity right now as well, even in our singleness! Seems like we can’t get away from him sometimes!
Holly Loube
> ElizabethYes so true Elizabeths, you have to stand firm on God’s word in every season of your life. Y’all are preachin lol
Cass Eli
I think your blog rocks like stars! I’ve nominated you for the Liebster Award (instructions are at the bottom of the post):
http://www.flowersandgrace.com/2015/04/liebster-award.html
Elizabeth
> Cass EliI’m *beyond* honored! Thank you for the love, Cass!
Toyin Alli
Awesome post! It’s great that you are starting this dialogue about purity! It’s so important! It’s so nice to have reminders like this post to make sure that I am staying true to myself and my relationship with God!
Holly Loube
> Toyin AlliThank you so much Toyin! it can be difficult to remember these things when practically the whole word is fighting to convince us otherwise. I am thankful that God is always drawing us nearer to Him. Thanks for reading 🙂
Margaret
Such words of wisdom!
-Margaret
http://happyinheels.blogspot.com/
Holly Loube
> MargaretThank you for the kind words Margaret 🙂
Tarah
I loved how you wrapped up this post. No sin is too big that God won’t forgive it. It’s something I know but it’s hard to just…I don’t know! lol I’m way too hard on myself when making any type of mistake but when it has to do with sexual purity, I know God forgives but it’s hard for ME to get past it! I’m praying to always get back up because I do…eventually. I just want the come up to be quicker! Thank you for this post!
http://adornedinarmor.com
Holly Loube
> Tarah*this was supposed to be a reply to you!
Yessss Tarah! I know exactly what it means. It can be so hard to forgive myself sometimes, it’s like WHY would I ever even struggle with that? Like what the heck? But I really have to humble myself and realize how much I do not have it going on by myself. And the flesh is so so weak. Ha. Have you seen this video? Please watch it 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwX_EpNR4CA
Elizabeth
> Holly LoubeAmen to this response AND that video! So thankful for you, Holly.
Elizabeth
> TarahTarah I completely understand that frustration. Intellectually we know God forgives us, but it’s hard to FEEL like we are forgiven or to forgives ourselves. I think sometimes Satan uses that as a means to hold us back and encourage us to dwell in our sin instead of changing. In those moments when I’m beating myself up over a mistake, it has been helpful for me to think less of myself and more of God. In Psalm 51 David says, “Against you, you alone, have I sinned,” and I think that sentiment is spot on. Our sin hurts and disappoints us, but more importantly it grieves God. We transgress against Him, not just ourselves and other humans. Realizing how incredible it is that God has forgiven me for causing him great pain is the fuel I need to forgive myself and to trust that He will help me as I work harder to not repeat those offenses against Him. As Holly suggested, our power lies in God, not in our flesh. Keep praying, friend! God hears hose prayers and He will strengthen you.
Holly Loube
> ElizabethYes & amen!!!
Holly Loube
Yessss Tarah! I know exactly what it means. It can be so hard to forgive myself sometimes, it’s like WHY would I ever even struggle with that? Like what the heck? But I really have to humble myself and realize how much I do not have it going on by myself. And the flesh is so so weak. Ha. Have you seen this video? Please watch it 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwX_EpNR4CA
Kiera
Yes!!! I LOVE this!
On a side note, and this being very personal, I’ve compromised my purity due to my ex asking me to… and being afraid to say no (or being guilted into things if I said no). I never enjoyed it and didn’t want to have a part in it, but from my own fear I let myself be dragged down. I used to think the fight was a metaphorical fight, but now I know better than to not put one up! My purity is worth fighting for, and not for my [currently non-existent] future husband. For my relationship in Christ and spiritual well-being. (: I love good and encouraging conversations on purity, ones that address real, practical needs.
As I’m always growing into finding what purity really is, I can’t wait to read the rest of this series! ^.^ Thanks so much for this great post!
Elizabeth
> KieraHi Kiera! Thank you for reading and being brave enough to share your story. You’re not alone, my friend. I too compromised my purity with a guy who claimed to care for me. Praise God for helping us come to the realization that purity should be valued because HE values it. You put that wonderfully — our purity is absolutely something worth fighting for! However the flesh is so weak, and we don’t have the power to fight temptation alone. Thankfully God gives us the strength and resources we need to win that war and in Christ He redeems us from past mistakes. Thank for this honest comment! I hope you will check back next week and share more thoughts. 🙂