A Love Letter to My Fellow Single Sisters
Dear Single Sisters,
I know despite your efforts to maintain a mature perspective, today is tough. No one likes being single on the most romantic day of the year. Maybe you’re unexpectedly single after going through a difficult breakup. Maybe you’ve never had a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. Maybe you’re somewhere in between. Whatever your circumstance, the pain is real today. In fact, this whole season only seems to pour salt on old wounds you’re trying desperately to get over.
I don’t want to deny the validity of your pain. (God created us with the desire for relationships, and we are not wrong to want a romantic relationship with a good, faithful Christian man). But I don’t want us to wallow today either. We can use some encouragement that doesn’t come in the form of vain flattery and validation from men. So today I want to remind you of something that’s taken me years to internalize: you ARE beautiful.
What makes you beautiful? It’s not your physical appeal (even though you’re probably 10X prettier than you think you are).It isn’t the soft curls in your hair or the lovely modest clothes you wear to gracefully cover your body. Don’t get me wrong, the effort you put into maintaining a respectable appearance is admirable (and appreciated!), but all of that is secondary to what makes you truly beautiful:
In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah, of the division of Abijah. And he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord. But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years. (Luke 1:5-7 ESV)
Your faithfulness. Like Elizabeth, you remain faithful to God even when it seems He has not heard your prayers. Your trust in God exceeds your doubts. When seasons of doubt arive, you recall biblical stories like Elizabeth’s to remind yourself that God is faithful to His promises, so we must be faithful to Him.
One who heard us was a woman named Lydia, from the city of Thyatira, a seller of purple goods, who was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was said by Paul. And after she was baptized, and her household as well, she urged us, saying, “If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay.” And she prevailed upon us. (Acts 16:14-15 ESV)
Your obedience. Like Lydia your faith is displayed in your obedience to the teachings of Christ. Your heart is open to scripture, so your faith continually grows as you passionately do as Christ commands. Your obedient positively affects others, and encourages them to obey Christ as well.
But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” (Ruth 1:16-17 ESV)
Your commitment to service. Like Ruth the depths of your humility and loyalty motivate you to serve with great fervor. Even when circumstances are difficult, you delight in serving Christ and the people you love. Even after you have served wholeheartedly, you don’t consider your service worthy of praise or reward because you only did as you ought to do (Luke 17:10).
And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. (Luke 1:38 ESV)
Your humility. Like Mary, you consider yourself a servant of The Lord, and His will takes precedent in your life, even above your own desires. Your submissive attitude towards God has produced a humble demeanor that affects everything you do, and God is glorified by your meekness.
“Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf, and do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my young women will also fast as you do. Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish.” (Esther 4:16 ESV)
Your courage. Like Esther, your faith in God enables you to serve boldly and courageously when your mission is to honor Him. You’re willing to risk rejection, ridicule and sometimes even your life to spread the Gospel because you know the reward in Heaven will be far greater than any risk you’ll encounter on this earth.
Dear sisters, I hope you understand that you ARE beautiful and worthy of love because of your faith and the inner, spiritual qualities that develop within you as you seek to be a sincere disciple of Christ. Please know that your singleness on this day is NOT an indication of your beauty or your worth. The people around you, those determinedly running the same race and those who profit from your inner beauty, value you greatly — and they love you. I am one those people, and I’m constantly in awe of you. Most importantly, God sees your beautiful heart (1 Samuel 16:7), and HE loves you. Let’s rejoice in knowing that no love can be greater than that which we’ve already received in Him.
With love in Him,
I’m so glad that this Valentine’s, for the first time, I’m not wallowing in self-pity! I know that the day will come when I will get to spend it with “Prince Charming”, but for now, I will focus on becoming the kind of wife and life partner that he deserves. And more importantly, I’m focusing on becoming the person that God will be pleased with!
Amen! That’s the best way we can spend our season of singleness. I’m thankful for the encouragement women like you provide, Elizabeth!
Elizabeth, thanks for this lettler! It’s inspiring, encouraging and eye-opening!
Thank you for the kind words, Buife!
This is such a beautiful post! I loved reading this and I really loved how you brought out the qualities of the women in scripture.
Elizabeth> Ashley LaMar
Thank you, Ashley! There were so many good examples to choose from. 🙂
Cass Eli> Cass Eli
I loved this post so much! Thanks for the reminder.
Elizabeth> Cass Eli
Aw, I’m so glad you like the post! Thank you for reading, Cass!